Friday, December 28, 2007

Spot the Same Shape

Some time ago, when I was doing therapy and massaging for our baby, I suddenly noticed something. She was wearing a hand-me-down pyjamas belonging to her cousin. This is my view of her from where I sat.

Look at the photo and see if you can spot 2 same shape.

Can you see it? No? Scroll down...

Our baby's nose is the outline of the Mickey Mouse shape. Hehe...

I know, I know. I should not be making fun of her. But when I first saw it, I was laughing away by myself. Hahaha...

Wednesday, December 26, 2007


Our baby has started to mumble monosyllabic words repeatedly. Among her first words are "ah teh teh teh" and "ah pa pa pa". Lately, when we go out in the car, I would let her sit beside me on the passenger seat. I would then try to teach her more words. This is an extract of our teaching and learning process.

Me: BB, you want nen-nen?
BB: Nen-nen-nen
Me: Pa-pa
BB: Ah-pa
Me: No, BB, say Pa-pa.
BB: Ah-pa
Me: Pa-pa
BB: Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa
Me: Mum-mum
BB: Mum-mum-mum
Me: Mum-my
BB: Ah-pa
Me: Not Ah-pa, it's Mum-my
BB: Ah-pa-pa-pa
Me: OK la... *Kiss*

Every morning when she just wakes up, we would have this conversation.

Me: Good morning BB. *Kiss-Kiss*
BB: Ah
Me: How are you this morning, B?
BB: Ah
Me: You didn't call Mum-my?
BB: Ah-pa
Me: Not Ah-pa. It's Mum-my.
BB: Pa-pa
Me: OK la, Pa-pa then. Come kiss Mummy.
BB: *Lean her face towards me and press her lips with dripping saliva over my cheeks*
Me: Good girl.

So, everyone in our household has become her Papa now, as she calls everyone Papa.

Sunday, December 23, 2007


The other day when I was driving home, I trailed behind this motorcycle that was carrying 4 people on it. The sight of it made me cringed. A man handled and drove the motorcycle, with his son, who was about 6 years old, sitting in front with his legs bent and rested on the handle bar, his wife, sitting behind him, holding a little girl who looks about 3 years of age on one side of her lap, half jutting out of the safe seat perimeter of the motorcycle. The little girl, obviously oblivious to the dangerous position she was in, was looking intently on something she held in her hand. Both adults wore safety helmets but both kids had none on them.

All the while, my car was trailing behind them. I was reluctant to overtake as my mind churn waves of thoughts of situations like this, which was all too familiar in the city of Kuching. In my heart, I murmured a prayer. "Dear God, please keep this family safe no matter where they go. Please make sure that they get home safely. Please let them afford a car."

As I was praying, I felt a pang of anger. Life is never fair. This family had to expose themselves to danger because they did not have a car. But there are lots of family out there, with plenty of cars in their houses. I thought about rich kids, whose parents bought them Mercedes or BMW for their 18th birthday. But then again, life is never fair. This brought my thoughts to numerous times when I saw mothers carrying new borns or very young babies while fathers drove their motorcycles. I really symphatize with them. I always prayed hard that nothing bad will happen to them and that they will get home safely. But then, what else can I do besides praying?

I sighed heavily. What can I do about it? I had no idea. The rich is getting richer , the poor getting poorer and the average sandwich in between.

It's just so heart-wrenching. Dear God, please provide for all those in need, be it body or soul, physical or spiritual. Thank you. Amen.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Happy 1st Birthday

Two days ago, it was our baby's first birthday. I felt very happy and excited. She's finally 1 year old. In preparation for her birthday, we brought her for her first haircut. This was her hair before her first haircut.

During her first haircut, she cried and struggled like never before. I had to hold on to her and I had her hair all over me. Anyway, this is her hair after the haircut.

Not much difference eh? There's a bit of difference actually. She now looks more like a boy again, like when she was younger and had shorter hair.

Well, a few days after her haircut, my husband and I decided to go shop for a dress and a pair of new shoes for her. We bought her this nice white dress.

We also bought her this pair of shoes.

So, on her birthday, we dressed her up with the new dress and shoes. We just had a simple family dinner. We also bought her a Winnie the Pooh (my husband's favourite character) cake.

During her birthday dinner, we gave her some noodles to eat and she enjoyed herself thoroughly. Mummy and Papa love you so much, lil' girl.

Monday, December 3, 2007


Oh my! Last week, my cousin came to visit us. He just came back from Langkawi and KL and he bought me Kinder Bueno.

So delicious. Thanks so much, Lex.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007


*Sigh* I know. I had not been updating regularly of late. I had been rather busy with lots of things; conference papers, technical papers, Postgraduate Diploma, assignments to do, miscellaneous researches, baby-sitting, a long queue of back load of work to be done and lots more.

The main stress-inducing factor is of course, the fact that the massages and therapy of our baby for a few months now, have yet to exhibit any form of improvements in her Nystagmus. Apparently, some weeks ago, we thought that we could detect some improvements in her Nystagmus, but after that, it was still the same. It hurts to see her squint all the time, trying to focus and see, especially during the day time. She is going to be one year old soon. I'm very excited about that, though, I'm still very anxious about her Nystagmus, about how she is going to deal with it when she grows older if it doesn't heal.

There are a lot of uncertainties, over which I have no control of. Numerous times, in forwarded emails, I have received a quote "Do not worry about what you have no control of." I know, this is easier said than done. How can I not worry about my beloved little brat?

Lately, I'm beginning to have insomnia too. I tend to wake up in the middle of the night, around 2-3am and I cannot go back to sleep after that, no matter how hard I try. It's making me very tired during the day time. At those early wee hours of the day, I did a lot of thinking. All was quiet, except for the ambient sound of air-conditioning blowing. The light emitted from the light box illuminated the room enough for me to check on my two loved ones. I checked on the little brat and found her fast asleep, with no blanket covering her. So, I went to cover her up in her comforter. Then I turned and looked at my husband. His long legs protruded out of the comforter and rested on the bed frame. No wonder he is cold all the time. That's what happens when you have legs longer than the bed. The cold air can get in from there, making you freeze all night long.

And so, I lie awake after that, till the sun rise in the horizon, my mind full of questions, which are unanswered.

Monday, November 12, 2007

New Milk Powder

The little brat is 11 months old today. The other day, we bought some new milk powder to await the moment she turns 1 year old, when she will be fed the milk powder meant for 1 - 3 years old brats.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Medical Updates - Singapore Trip (October 2007)

My husband and I just brought our baby back from Singapore about a week ago. We brought our baby to see a Paediatric Opthalmologist in the National University Hospital. All in all, we spent about 3 hours at the hospital, while waiting for the doctors to check on our baby. First, she was checked by the Paediatic Opthalmologist, who then asked her colleague, another Opthalmologist to check on her. The Opthalmologist did a series of tests, suitable for babies, by holding interesting looking toys of various colours and sounds to try and test if our baby follows the objects and to see if our baby does indeed reach out to grab the objects. Her conclusion is that, even though our baby does reach out to the objects, she seems to have difficulty focusing on the objects, as she squints whenever she tries to see the objects in front of her. Both Opthalmologists then had a discussion and decided to call upon another colleague, a Neuro-Opthalmologist to assess our baby. They did a series of tests again and find that our baby seems healthy in all other aspects, except her Nystagmus. Finally, they concluded that our baby's Nystagmus is not due to any neurological problems but rather due to motor problems, which maybe muscle related. I am not sure I get this precisely correct but it is something along those lines. Anyway, after that, an Optometrist checked the power of our baby's eyes. She concluded that our baby experienced long-sightedness, which is far greater than the average of her age. The Paediatric Opthalmologist then said that she should be monitored as she grows older, hoping that her long-sightedness can be improved and that she might need glasses when she grows older. I also asked if our baby's eyes are correctly aligned, as it looks to me as if her eyes are abit out of alignment. The Paediatric Opthalmologist then said that it looked quite alright to her. She also did a retina scan and concluded that the inside of our baby's eyes are clear and her retina is fine.

We went home feeling somewhat relief. Relief that our baby's Nystagmus is not due to some serious neurological problems. But deep down, we still pray that our baby's Nystagmus can be healed as she grows older.

In this short trip to Singapore, we did not go out much. We just had a lunch and dinner with two friends. And of course, I bought my Kinder Bueno. Just bought 2 value packs, as my husband again said that this time Changi Airport should have the stock.

Unfortunately again, Changi Airport does not have Kinder Bueno but only Kinder Chocolate. And no, they are not the same. Anyway, the airport looks more like a shopping centre rather than an airport.

The husband decided to haul back some vodka. So, we stopped by the alcohol shop.

He decided to buy 2 bottles, Absolut Vodka and Absolut Citron because if you purchased 2 bottles, they apparently give you a free small 5-bottle collection.

After happily paying for it, we went to have an afternoon snack at Spinelli. I had a cheese cake while he had a cinnamon cupcake.

Hmm...yummy, the little brat just sat in her stroller and watched us eat. Pity her!

Monday, October 22, 2007


Giant baby with giant feet needs giant shoes.

It was hard to find a big enough pair of shoes for the little brat in Kuching. Luckily, we managed to find a really nice pair in Singapore. Since the little brat babbles non-stop calling "ah papa..papapapa...ah papa.." while in Singapore, so the ecstatic Papa decided that she must be bought a really nice pair of shoes.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Flat Building

Ever seen a flat building before? Like it's a piece of paper standing on the ground?

I saw this building in Singapore. Of course, it's like any other building but from the angle that I took this photo, it looks like it's a paper-thin piece of aluminium sheet standing on the ground.

Thursday, October 11, 2007


It's been nearly two weeks since I last blogged. The reason? Of course, what else but workload, workload and workload. I should not be complaining though. There are people with much heavier workload compared to mine, for example, my beloved husband, who has turned into a double workaholic. Can you believe he had a phone call at 6am this morning and then off he went, into the shower and out of the shower, gave me a kiss and then out of the door. He works too hard. Nothing seems to stop him from working, not even the flu/cough virus and the lack of sleep. *Sigh*

And here I am, complaining about a few tight datelines that I had to deal with. Nevertheless, I've just recovered from some viral infection myself. My throat was in pain and my head was also racking in pain. Three days ago, I almost blacked out. Of all the places, it happened in the church, while I was attending a wedding, in which I was supposed to be the witness. I can still vividly see the image of myself. While I stood in the pew, I became faint. I could not breath. I quickly walked outside while I still could walk. My chest became tight. My vision became blur. My arms and legs were suddenly weak. I tried to take deep breaths. Calm down, I told myself. Cold sweat began to break. I wiped them off my forehead. After while, I quickly returned into the church. I was worried that they would call for the witnesses soon. Suddenly, the black out attack came again. Imagine my horror as I experienced it a second time in a matter of ten minutes apart. I quickly walked outside again. A wave of nausea overcame me. Again I took deep breaths. My mind was reeling with anxiety. I knew that the priest would be calling for the witnesses soon. I prayed that I would not faint at the altar. I quickly went back in. When I was called to the altar to sign as a witness, I was feeling a little better. Thank God I did not faint right in front of everyone.

After the mass, the bride's father helped to massage my neck. It releases the pain in the back of my brain. I felt nauseatic again. Later on, I went to see the doctor. He suspected that it might be migraine. Until today, I still feel a mild streak of pain in the back of my brain. I hope that it will subside soon.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Medical Updates - Miri Trip

Last weekend, we were in Miri to bring our baby to see the Taiwanese therapist whom we saw in Bintulu. Again, our baby had three sessions of therapy with him. Our baby kept on crying throughout the sessions. She started to cry even before the therapist massaged her, either because she recognized his voice or she could smell the pungent odour of chinese medicine there. I do not see any differences in her condition at first, but after the third session, again she seems to be able to hold her eye steady for one to two seconds. Now, her eyes seems to be back to jiggling again. Less occasions of holding her eyes steady for awhile, as the gap of the last therapy session becomes larger. Similar case as before. The therapist remarked that her condition seemed better, although I could not see it. He just asked us to continue doing what he did, by massaging her at the base of her skull. I am giving her Cranial Sacral Therapy, as well as massaging her every night. Let's hope her condition will be better soon.

We arrived at Miri Airport on Friday and went back on Sunday. The airport is again a miniature version of Kuching International Airport. I reckoned all airports in Sarawak will end up looking the same as KIA.

We had more fun in Miri compared to Bintulu. For one thing, there were more shops in Miri. And this time, we went with some friends. We stayed in a 3-bedroom executive suite. The place is great. This is the our bedroom and bathroom.

This is the living room with a sofa set and a TV.

There is also the dining area and kitchen with a refrigerator and a microwave.

This is the view from our bedroom.

We had seafood for dinner at a seafood restaurant.

Look at the lobster. It's huge. It's shell has very nice patterns. But we did not order it as it probably costs more than the cash we brought.

Over the 2 nights we were there, we had a variety of dishes. We had crabs.


Crabs fried with egg.

Kam Heong crabs.

Chilli crabs.

Sea clams.


Four-variety vegetables.

This is a picture of bullfrogs in an aquarium. Unfortunately, one of the bull frogs ended up on our dinner table. It tastes like chicken.


Wednesday, September 26, 2007

We Can Only Plan, God Will Decide

The other day, I had some flashback of memories. I recalled the times during the last stage of my pregnancy. How anxious I was at that time for our baby to come out fast. How high my anticipation was for signs of labour to show. How I kept wondering how our baby looked like. Will she look like me? Will she look like my husband?

I remembered saying to my husband that I wished our baby would have large eyes like his and would be tall like him. Then, I asked my husband, do you think our baby will be chubby? My husband jokingly said, how can you expect her to be chubby when both of us are stick figures? From where can she get her chubby genes? Then I remembered answering him, you're so tall but your parents are not. So? Why can't our baby be chubby when we are thin? But at the back of my mind I thought, yes, you're right, we are both thin, so how chubby can our baby get? Then I asked him, both of us have dark skin, so do you think our baby will have dark skin too?

And so, we could only talk about it. We could only imagine how she looked like before she was born. But God will decide everything. Turns out, our baby do not have my husband's big eyes. Turns out, she's not only chubby now, she's VERY CHUBBY. Turns out, she fair. Haha... a total opposite of our imagination. A lot of friends say our baby looks like me. But she's got a lot of my husband's features. Large feet (she probably needs big size shoes next time), tall (I hope she can continue to be tall and not short like me), thick eye brows with a whorl at the end and the exact same hairline.

So, there you go. You can plan, you can imagine but God decides.

Monday, September 24, 2007


I don't want to talk about it. Stupid umbrella! My two fingers were in pain for one whole night!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

I'm Getting Old

I have a sign that old age is catching up. Last weekend, I went to have a haircut. There, I discovered that I had strands of white hair. OMG! Not yet 30 years of age and yet I have white hair.

It's disheartening to see those white strands. I kept staring at them on the mirror reflection, wanting to pull them out but wary that the people at the hair saloon were watching. So, I just kept my hands folded, squirming impatiently in my seat. The moment I got into my car, I started to pull those white strands out one by one. I counted. There were 5 of them altogether.


Monday, September 17, 2007


Not me la!

It's the orange.

Look at the baby orange in the middle. So cute!

Friday, September 14, 2007

Sick and Depressed

Yesterday, I was down with fever, flu, cough and sore throat. It made my day dull and colourless. I felt rather depressed especially when I looked at our baby. Her eyes, which supposedly were better a few weeks back, are jiggling rather fast again. Her eyes starts to cross more prominently. She is still rather sensitive to light. The more I looked at her, the more desperate and helpless I felt. I know I can do nothing to improve her situation right now but feeling helpless isn't helping me to cope. To add to my worries, her other developments are slightly slower due to her eye condition. Tears start to well in my eyes as I looked at her, trying her best to cope with her eye condition on her own. I felt like hugging her tight, to protect her from all harms, as though by hugging her, her Nystagmus will heal. She seems to cope with it quite well. Unlike me, I felt helpless, desperate, down and sick.

During dinner time, I could not eat even though I was very hungry. I could not bring myself to swallow the food in my mouth. It was almost 7 months ago when I first felt this way, unable to swallow the food in my mouth, even though I was hungry. I remembered vividly, the day we discovered that our baby had Nystagmus, how worried we were, how totally crushed we were, how I had sleepless nights after that, how I cried and cried, how I had no appetite to eat, how I frantically search the Internet for answers and how my heart ached and ached till today.

It's been 7 months now. I thought I was able to cope with this. But I was wrong. Day in and day out, my worries wore me down mentally. Will I ever get through this in one piece? Will I be able to accept that, our baby may have Nystagmus for the rest of her life? Will my tears continue to flow freely whenever I think of her future? Will there be a chance that she will be healed?

So many questions but no answers.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Free Kids Stuff

I remembered back when I was little, I sometimes secretly buy the RM0.20 junk food from the school canteen. Why the secrecy? That's because my father did not allow me to eat junk food. And so I had to buy them secretly. (I hope my father doesn't read this entry!) Anyway, in these junk food packets, there used to be free stuffs, like small plastic rings, stickers, plastic robots or whatever that appeals to kids. Sometimes, there's even coupons to exchange for stuffs meant to trick us innocent kids into buying more of those unhealthy junk food. Despite the fact that the junk food is unhealthy, being kids, we just had to have a taste of it, not so much of the junk food, but more of the fun in getting the free stuffs that came together in the junk food packets. Then, there's also free ice-creams, where random ice-cream sticks will have stamps on it, allowing you to claim for another free ice-cream and stuffs like that.

Well, those were the days. These days, I seem to think that those things do not exist anymore. I thought that those companies selling junk food and ice-creams do not practise the same marketing strategy anymore to increase their sales. Junk food and ice-creams that I have consumed over the last 10 years do not seem to give any free kids stuffs anymore. That was my thought, until last Friday, I had an ice-cream to soothe myself in the heat of the day and I got this.

Hey, it says free 1 ice-cream! I wonder if I really can exchange it with a free ice-cream. Makes me feel excited like a 7-year old kid. Hehe...

Monday, September 10, 2007

Medical Updates - Bintulu Trip

A few weeks ago, my husband and I were in Bintulu. We brought our baby there to visit a Taiwanese therapist. This therapist was a friend of my husband's friend. Coincidently, when my husband's friend heard of our baby's condition, he suggested that we should see his friend, the Taiwanese therapist, who periodically visits Sabah and Sarawak and operates a few clinics in this 2 states.

And so we went. Our baby had 3 sessions with him. From my observation, his techniques are rather similar to that of the osteopath we saw in Singapore. However, he was more "rough" and daring in his musculo-skeletal manipulation. He asks us not to worry as he knows what he is doing. So, we just stood by to observe and hear our baby cry and cry and cry.

According to the therapist, he said that our baby's top of the spine (cervical spine), her C1 and C2 seems to be pressing on her nerves, causing the flow to the optic nerves to be disrupted and thus, causing her Nystagmus. His explanation very much concurs with the medical articles/journals which I found on the Internet. He taught us to massage just below our baby's skull and let her lie down on her back more often, supported by a pillow, so that her head is slightly bent upwards. We must also prevent her from arching herself backwards, as this cause her C1/C2 to press on her nerves further.

Since then, I have been massaging our baby's neck area everyday. I'm not sure if I'm paranoid or what but since the day we came back from Bintulu, it seems that our baby's Nystagmus really has improved a little. The jigglings have seemed to slow down and she seems to be able to hold her eyes steady for a second or two at times. Apart from that, she seems to be able to look around and touch things when she is on her baby walker, something that she does not do before the Bintulu trip. When she came back from Bintulu, we seemed to sense a difference in the way she interacts with her surroundings.

Although she still squints at times and is still sensitive to light, we are inclined to think that her Nystagmus does indeed improved a little. We will continue to observe her for a longer period of time before making a definite conclusion.

Here are some pictures from Bintulu. This is the Bintulu Airport, a smaller replica of the Kuching International Airport.

This is Bintulu town centre.

When we were there, there was a kite festival on. It was held at the runway of the old Bintulu airport.

Really nice kites!

Thursday, September 6, 2007

New Shoes

Last night, we went to buy a pair of new shoes for our baby.

Looks cute eh. It fits her just nice. It has been rather hard to find shoes for our baby as she has very long feet (like her father's).

Let's hope that this pair of shoes can last her at least one month before she outgrows them. If she outgrows them, then she will have to go "shoeless" for at least a few months until she can wear the bigger shoes meant for 1-year old kids.

Monday, September 3, 2007


Two weeks ago, I went to this place called MUS Grill and Lounge, located at the 3rd Exchange near the 3rd Mile roundabout with my husband, our baby and a bunch of friends.

It has a very nice setting; dim, cosy and elegant in a style of its own.

This is the bar.

We had Western food there. Unfortunately, due to the dim lighting, I could not capture any nice photos of the food we ate. The food was just OK though. Not bad but nothing out of the ordinary.

After my camera ran out of battery, I managed to capture this shot with my handphone camera.

My little brat, up to some mischief...

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

A Rainy Day

Lately, the hot weather is frequently punctuated with rainy days. I love rainy days even though it means that the day's laundry will not dry. But at least, the temperature is brought down, which is good. Hot days make me hot-tempered. Rainy days make me happy.

The other day, I had to do umbrella trekking through a pathway at my office. Oh my...

Umbrellas for sale. Anyone?

Monday, August 27, 2007

Life-Long Learning

Some time ago, a friend of mine raised this question, "How many years have you been to school for?" It made me pondered awhile. Calculating in my mind, I had...

2 years of kindergarten, which I can only recall bits and pieces of, like dressing up in a nice, white dress and performing in the year end concert :p

6 years of primary school, during which I joined the band and played the drum once, did track and field events and was a member of Brownies

7 years of secondary school, where I vividly remembered how torturing studying History was and how interesting and exciting the lab sessions were, did abit of track and field and played alot of badminton and table tennis, had posts and memberships in 20 clubs more or less and fell asleep a few times in Physics class and my Physics teacher, who was really kind, thought I was sick (Umm...I'm not sick, I'm just sleepy, a normal syndrome of over-stressed secondary school kids)

3 years of undergraduate studies, during which I really enjoyed myself despite the assignments, projects and exams, made lots of good friends, 3 of whom were the closest till this day (we were known back then as the 4 Musketeers), went dating with Mr Talkative and his big, black shoes :p ( la, he did not have any more big, black shoes then, just big shoes)

and 2 years of postgraduate, where I learnt alot under the supervision of an intelligent, smart, kind, patient, caring and understanding supervisor, who pushed me to do better and better each day.

That's a total of 20 years of education. At the age of 28, that is approximately 71% of my life I've been to school for. This number has to be added to a projected 3 more years of postgraduate studies to come over the next 5 years. This statistics is not much, compared to my cousin who went to pre-school at the age of 2 years old or compared with some others who never stop attending school even though they have graduated.

Learning is a life-long process. You never stop learning whether or not you attend school. I truly believe that learning helps us handle our lives better. The knowledge that you gained over the years of learning will last you for a lifetime. I feel much more secure with the fact that I have knowledge in my head rather than cash in my pocket. But of course, I do not mind having cash in my pocket. Then, I can buy more Kinder Bueno. Hehe...

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Pizzas @ Bella Italia

The other day, a bunch of us friends went to have pizzas at the Bella Italia.

In total, we ordered 4 pan pizzas and stuffed ourselves to the limit. The thin crust pizzas were very nice, different from the Hut's thin crust pizzas.

We had the Pinnochio pizza, which was topped with bai ling mushroom, ham shreds, chicken shreds and pepperoni.

There was also the Hawaiian, topped with pineapple cubes and chicken shreds.

Another one which we ordered was a half-half pizza. One half consists of the Vegetarian pizza, while the other half was the Funghi pizza. The Vegetarian pizza was topped with cauliflower, broccoli, capsicum, diced tomato and pineapple cubes. The Funghi pizza was topped with what looked like sliced Shittake mushrooms or some similar mushrooms. This pizza was especially nice that we decided to order another one full Funghi pizza, which I didn't had the chance to take a photo of, as it was immediately snatched up slice by slice by hungry hands, mine included. Haha...

Oooo, really yummy!