Thursday, March 29, 2007

Feeling Defeated

I came back to Kuching yesterday after two and a half weeks in Singapore. I went to Singapore full of hope and determination. I came back feeling somewhat defeated and tired. After a single checkup with the Paediatric Neurologist, 5 sessions of Cranial Sacral Therapy and 7 sessions of Cranial Osteopathy, our baby saw no signs of improvement in her Nystagmus. Moreover, she seems to develop a bit of cross-eye. I am not sure what medical term to use for it, perhaps, strabismus or lazy eyes? Anyway, on the day we came back, she had some sort of inflammation on her lower right eye lid. By the way, she still suffers from a blocked tear duct on her right eye. She seems to have alot of eye problems. I pray that she will outgrow all of her eye problems. It's mentally exhausting to see her in that condition and not being able to do anything about it.

Well, the battle is not over yet! The only thing to do right now is to perform a home therapy, which the CST practitioner taught us, in the hope that it would improve her eye condition after a few months. If her eye condition do indeed improve, we were to go back to Singapore to have the practitioner continue working on her. Let's all pray for her.

So, let's just wait and see how everything goes from now. The feeling of despair kept overwhelming me from time to time, with the thought that our baby's Nystagmus may stay with her for life. I find comfort in praying and in listening to the song by Fish Leong, "Xiao Shou La Da Shou", which has a very joyful tune.

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