Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Three Months of Heartbreak

It had been three months since our baby was diagnosed with Nystagmus. It had been three heartbroken months for me. The feeling of desvastation, desperation, disappointment, all roll into one, had been engulfing me for the past three months. It's hard to look at our baby and see her eyes in that condition. By right, she should be able to see clearly by now, to be able to reach out to grab things right in front of her. But alas, she rarely does. She can see, but from my observation of her, I do not think that she can focus properly. She can see things that are close up but for things further away, let's say about 1 feet away from her, her eyes will jiggle uncontrollably when she tries to focus. It's so heartbreaking to see her this way.

It's not easy being parents, especially parents of a child who has some problems, be it serious or not. Though Nystagmus is uncurable, we find comfort that it is painless for our baby. But it's heartbreaking all the same. I frequently put myself in her shoes, thinking that if my eyes jiggle that way, what can I see? The answer to my own question is I can see nothing clearly. The most I can see is some blurred vision of things around me. The more I think about it, the more my heart sink. How should I handle my emotional health?

Please help me pray for a miracle. Thank you.

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