Friday, July 27, 2007

Depression Sets In Again

It's been a rather busy week at work and at home. At work, there's meetings and there's work to do. At home, there's therapy to perform on our baby every morning and every night.

I have been feeling somewhat depressed again over the last few days. My observation of our baby's Nystagmus is the reason. She seems not to be able to focus well, especially when it's a bit bright. She can hardly see anything when she is outdoor even when she's under the shade and the sun is not even strong. She'll keep on rubbing her nose and eyes whenever she is outdoor. She keeps on banging her head on the mattress when she's lying on her stomach. Her Strabismus is getting more pronounced. There's just something very wrong here. People may think that I'm paranoid but I truly believe, something is just not right. The problem is there is no specialist who can do anything or find the correct diagnosis, at least, not without a brain scan.

I'm in such a dilemma. She's still so little and my husband and I are rather reluctant to let her go through a brain scan as it required sedation. At the same time, without a brain scan, the doctors cannot make any diagnosis. Her Strabismus seems to be getting worse and her Nystagmus too. Adding to that, there's her head banging and her head nodding and her inability to see when she is outdoor. She can't even see me in between railings.

What am I to do? Anyone know of any doctors or traditional chinese medical doctors who might be able to offer some advice without doing any brain scan?

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